Over a Decade of Foolishness

 "If the other party in the relationship consistently rejects our efforts for reconciliation or refuses to recognize the ways in which she is creating conflict, then continuing to invite that person into the softest places of our hearts is foolish."   Abbie Halberstadt, Hard Is Not the Same Thing as Bad.

Just the other night as I was drifting off to sleep, I was thinking about life, and how we only get one, with no dress rehearsals or do-overs.  When we spend days, months, years, decades living in a pattern that we will later regret, that time is lost on us, and can only be redeemed when we use the wisdom we've gained from our foolishness to help others avoid the mistakes we've made . . . and we can learn not to do the same foolish thing again.

I have a big section of my bookshelf dedicated to books on friendship, including a few that are just about the death of some friendships, and the hurt left behind in their wake.  

I've always prided myself in having a thick skin, and in not over-analyzing things, but looking back on the most painful and confusing friendship of my life, I see that my thick skin was really only naivite.  How foolish was I to continue this "friendship"  when my "friend", in so many words, asked me if I had anyone else in my life, because I was just too much for her?  I was a fool, and there are no two ways around it.  Looking back, I am amazed at just how naive and foolish . . . and desperate?, I was.  

Well, I can't get those years back, and the time wasn't all wasted, and I did come out just a bit wiser, as in, I can confidently tell someone that if a "friend" of theirs tells them that he/she is just too much to handle (unless the person really IS too much too handle), they should reevaluate that "friendship", and find a new friend.